the new low.
so first came the depression. the seemingly endless sadness and hopelessness that left me unable to feel anything but pain.
then came the apathy. swinging on depression’s pendulum to the place where nothing could be felt, because i was so numb. there i gave myself over to myself. i did what i wanted. stopped caring about almost everything. and only by God’s mercy i was spared from making really poor decisions.
and now comes the awakening. i wouldn’t say i’m climbing out of anything. there’s no pendulum swinging involved. but i feel like i’m turning over in bed and opening my eyes. staring out the window and thinking, “it’s time. it’s time to get up.” and i know life will never be the same. but i believe it can be restored. to a place greater than i ever knew before.
i’m too tired to stay asleep.