Hi. My name is Rachael. And I don’t know how to date.
In the past, I’ve completely avoided blogging about these subjects. Why? Because they seem desperate, or bitter, or even like I’m fishing for compliments. But today, today I’m going for it. Say what you will of my motives…but this is simply an honest assessment of how I’m feeling.
I’m 26 years old. I didn’t really start dating until I was 20. But in the past six years, I’ve had a fair amount of strange experiences. I’ve dated a couple guys who haven’t wanted to hurt me, so they’ve just waited things out till I break up with them. I dated a guy who prophesied over our waitress at a huge restaurant (a prophesy that ended up not coming to fruition). I was given a heads up that one breakup was coming via Twitter. And I was told my standard winter outfit of jeans and a Northface fleece didn’t make me pretty. Ha. And I can honestly say I’m not bitter about these things. Now I look back at them and chuckle (or chortle…even snicker, if you will). But this six year long stretch has made me realize that I simply don’t know how to date.
I don’t know what kind of person to look for. I feel like I know what *not* to look for…but that knowledge hasn’t gotten me very far in the past. So I just feel stuck. Not sure that I’m up for getting into yet another dating relationship (should one present itself).
Now I completely understand all the cliches…and believe them to be true. Every door closes until one stays open, you meet a lot of frogs before you meet your prince, so on and so forth. But in the meantime, how does one figure out just HOW to date. HOW to choose a person that will treat you like a human being, even when things aren’t working out. HOW to know when to keep things light and casual, and when to open yourself up a little bit more.
Sigh.
I know it’s part of the process. But I think I need a life coach for this. So it’s on this year’s Christmas list. Anyone? Dating life coach?
Tags: dating, relationships gone wrong
thanks for posting this. Great questions and i don’t think it comes off as bitter or lacking hope. I was watching a tv show (yes, this advice is coming from a sitcom) but the main character was bummed because he’s been ready to get married and has dated a lot of terrible, ok and great people, just hasn’t found THE girl that’s worth the leap. So he has a friend tell him, “keep waiting, she’s on her way, it may just be taking her a little longer to find you.” That’s it, that’s all i got – asking God to give me patience and fulfillment in waiting and to be scooting that guy closer and closer
Cheesy, yes…do i hope it to be true? absolutely. Glad LA is fantastic.
Guys are idiots.
Oh Rachael…You will find him. But first you have to find yourself. In my experience when someone is stuck in the dating world they need to start concentrating on themselves first then the love comes easily. Start by doing the things you really like to do (maybe a flashdance scene;) .
When you are doing things you love you will start to excude a happiness and a confidence from within that will be attractive. At the same time when you are enjoying your life you will start to see men from a better perspective. Instead of wishing and hoping that a man is the right fit you will intuitivly know if that is the right partner for you. Most importantly you must find out which one of the three women you are missing. To get a sneak peak go to my site and keep an eye out for an email from me;)
[...] is a brief attempt at trying to better explain my previous post on me not knowing how to date. Due to the response that post received, and the fact that I’m [...]