How to bomb.com an audition.

Step 1 :: Take the hour before to stress about what you’re going to WEAR to the audition, rather than brushing up on your sides.

Step 2 :: Begin to drive to your audition 10 minutes later than you wanted to because you simply weren’t sure of the outfit.

Step 3 :: Get around the block, and realize you don’t have the address as to where your audition is. Pull over, and search your phone for the email from the casting director.

Step 4 :: Gasp when you realize there are TWO sides attached to the email…when you only have ONE prepared.

Step 5 :: Careen back home and rush into the house to print off the second side…where you then learn more about the character and have to change. For the 8th time.

Step 6 :: Gasp again as you’re reading through the second side, and realize not only do you have to scream in the audition, but you have to bawl your eyes out, too. (I look forward to the day this is not a problem. But as it stands right now, I’m still new to this, so it’s going to take me longer than 15 minutes to dig deep and find those emotions.)

Step 7 :: Walk into the audition and immediately break out in hives, realizing that you’re about to cry for these folks based on a script you saw for the first time 15 minutes ago.

Step 8 :: Realize you’ve been defeated when they ask you instead, after the audition, to do a cold read for the ‘best friend.’

And that, my friends, is how it’s done. But I’m thankful for this — I laughed the whole way home. Maybe you think that’s me not taking this seriously, but I think it means I’m much more prepared for this world *now* than I would have been a few years ago. So thanks, real world experience, Emma, Nashville and life, for toughening me up so I can see the humor in days like today.

Tags: auditions, failure, hives, Hollywood, laughter, step-by-step guide

This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 17th, 2010 at 9:35 pm and is filed under Hollywood, The Levity. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.