A few months ago, I signed on as a salesman (woman? person? person of the selling variety?) for Imagination Branding, a promotional product branding company based in Nashville, TN. Promotional branding is the thing you go for when you need your logo or information on any kind of product. Think in terms of pens, mugs, apparel, matchbooks, koozies, stressballs, bags, name badges, the list goes on and on. Seriously. I have 3000 catalogs in my house right now filled with every product under the sun, waiting to be branded. Almost every kind of business has a piece of swag in one form or another.

And while any business takes awhile to get started, being new to this industry things are taking me a little bit longer to get going than I’d like. Which is where I make my very honest plea…let me do your branding. Let me take a stab at some quotes for your company, your non-profit, your restaurant, your firm, your studio, your personal brand as an artist, your salon, your school, your club, your annual party. Anything you want to carry your brand, I would lovelovelove the opportunity to quote you on it.

Even if you’re not in a position to make these kind of decisions, I’d love an introduction to someone on your team who is.

Thanks for your time and help, folks. The four wise men of the Beatles really did say it best when they sang, “I get by with a little help from my friends.” I’m excited about this endeavor, and excited about the thought of it sustaining me while acting.

Check out our site at www.imaginationbranding.com, and shoot me an email if anything comes to mind, rachael.kahne@imaginationbranding.com

Love!

Let me start by exposing a part of myself that I made a decision awhile back not to bring up on the world wide web. Not because of embarrassment, but simply because it’s no one’s business. I am a virgin. I’m one of those chaste girls Christian men are supposed to be praying for when they go to sleep at night. The perfect partner and mother to children. I don’t hook up with guys…never have. NiCMO’s (non-committal makeouts) are not in my repertoire. So, from Mr. Miller’s blog…I’ve learned that I am the type of woman that will spend a lot of nights crying myself to sleep out of loneliness, but also have the joy of knowing I’ll always be respected by “the right man” because he’ll know I’ve never had “a slutty period.” And you know, there are hints of that in my life. I get restless every couple of years to meet “the one” and get discouraged that it may not happen. And I do hope that my future husband will feel the weight of what it means that I waited for him to have sex. But if the intent of Mr. Miller’s blog was to encourage women to move in that direction, he failed. Failed miserably.

I’ve had the occasion to meet Mr. Miller here and there, and he’s certainly put on a pedestal within the Christian subculture. Beyond that, his book, Searching for God Knows What, spoke more clearly to me in a time of need and transition than any other book ever had. So I was surprised that in this particular blog post, his six points spoke so much anger, hate and shame. There was no remnant of hope…no grace extended to women who have made mistakes, or even been taken advantage of. It’s a post condemning women, and my heart aches for its readers who were reminded that their past may not make them worthy of a good man’s pursuit.

I know his blog was directed toward a very specific audience of women who maintain the morals the Bible commands, so this response is doing a bit of the same. And I agree…women would be MUCH better off if they could truly grasp the measure of their worth, and wait for a man who is going to honor and respect them. But beyond that, I’d also encourage them to wait for a man who will extend grace and mercy and kindness and love that will mirror what God has given us. I wish I could emblazon that on every woman’s heart (including my own).

Interestingly, I have always dated “good Christian men.” I’ve kept myself above board in all aspects in my relationships with them. But if I’m honest, I have never been treated worse than I have in those relationships. For some reason, whether it be expectations, pressure or nerves, it seems like I leave each relationship feeling ugly, worthless and stupid. One relationship in particular left me feeling like a whore. And I don’t use that term lightly. For more than a year after it ended, I felt like a whore. And would you believe I didn’t even kiss that guy? In the three months we were together, we never even kissed. He believed it was important to wait a year before going down that road. But his words cut me deep, and it took years to repair that wound.

I write this only because Mr. Miller’s blog stirred up some of the same physiological reactions I had in that three month relationship. No matter how “pure” I was…it wasn’t enough. I needed to tone down my personality. I needed to change my humor. I, who doesn’t wear revealing clothing because I don’t want imaginations to run wild, needed to cover up even more. But ladies…please hear this…that isn’t love. That isn’t grace. That isn’t mercy. That isn’t God.

So, I ask that you throw that blog out the window. Sure, chase after the good things, the righteous things, the holy things. And when it comes to love, look for a man who forgives. Who extends grace when it seems like there is none to be offered. Who gives mercy when you’re certain you’re unworthy. And hold yourself to the same standard. Look for opportunities to offer forgiveness, grace, mercy and understanding. THAT is God. THAT is good. And THAT, my sweet friends, is what a great love story is.

But, being that I’m not married, I’d like to close with my brother’s insight. He’s married with a new baby, which I feel merits him to speak a wee bit more on this topic.

“What I found sad about the post is that he puts a “love story” on a pedestal.  He is also speaking from a place of ignorance.  He just got engaged in June and now he is an expert on the marriage relationship.  He labels all girls that have had sex before marriage as having gone through a “slutty” period and that no man can marry her and look at her as his equal.  Utter bull!  I’m not saying virginity isn’t important, but it isn’t a qualification for a great marriage or “love story” as Donald calls it.  We as married men are told to love our wives as Christ loves the Church.  Nowhere do you find Jesus looking at His Church and saying, “I love her, but she went through that slutty period, so I can’t really look at her the same.”  He looks at her as a shining bride in pure white.  He looks at her as the prize.  He doesn’t see who she was or what she’s done (and it was much worse than a slutty period as Donny boy calls it).  Yes, the husband will need to forgive his wife for the things that she has done, but the wife will need to forgive the husband for what he has done as well whether or not that was sexual or something else entirely (which in Donald’s case will probably be self-righteousness).”

Anna and Adrian Santos currently reside in Memphis, Tennessee. Anna is pursuing her JD and Adrian is the incredible wheeler and dealer behind Revolt Marketing. Yesterday, Adrian saw a wee pup on the side of the highway in Memphis curled up against a guardrail. He pulled his truck over and collected the weak, battered, terrified pup and took her straight to the vet.

At the vet, he found out she’s about six months old, was most likely hit by a car, and has a bad case of scarcoptic mange (as you can tell from the pictures). The vet is confident the mange will go away in three months, and with some good care, she’ll pull through.

We have to find a sweet home for this incredible dog. She’s pulled through so much and is still alive. She’ll probably stay with the vet until she’s in good health, but we need to spread the word and get this puppy adopted. Just because she’s in Memphis now doesn’t mean she has to stay there…so help a dog out, will ya? Spread the word. Find this lil one a new home.

And suddenly, his life made me wonder, when did we stop taking responsibility for ourselves?

As a little boy, my grandfather found his mother shortly after she committed suicide. A few days later, he found a note from her in his sock drawer…a note he interpreted to mean she killed herself because of him. His dad didn’t know what to do with him, so he sent my gramps off to live with his cousins. His cousins treated him horribly, and on and on the story goes of no one ever wanting this incredible boy. Not until he fell in love with my wonderful grandmother was he really wanted. And yet, he never played the victim. Never acted out of his circumstances. Always worked hard to take responsibility for himself and his actions. He remained a good man, chasing service above self and education.

Now, it seems, we’re more apt to pinpoint our shortcomings on our less-than-ideal home life. As though we’re excused from really treating people with respect, or entitled to be a little rude, or selfish, or unforgiving, because of situations in our past that made us this way. A poor home life is the ultimate bandaid.

Well. I think it’s time to grow up. To get over “what’s been done to you” and start doing right towards everyone else. And my best friend, Madea, had some great thoughts on the subject.

I am aware some people have been raised in horrible, life-altering situations. And I’m not saying everyone has the opportunity or wherewithal to pull themselves up by their bootstraps. I know some folks who have had things done to them that literally makes me think they’ve been to hell and back. But they’re also more likely to step up to the plate and take responsibility for themselves. Not all, but more than you would think.

So c’mon, Gen-Y! Let’s do this thing! As far as it is possible for us, let’s keep the peace. Take responsibility. And live like we mean it.

1) Spanish. Coffee to go is “Cafe con leche para llevar, por favor.” What’s in the croquettes is “Lo que hay en las croquetas?” No seafood is “No mariscos, por favor.” And finally, to get a guy away from you is, “Soy una loca americana que problamente mas de comunicarse con usted acerca de sus sentimentas y le empuja a resentir mi. Mejor seguir el ritma.”

2) I LOVE the coffee here. I prefer coffee treats in America, but the standard single shot of espresso here is perfection!

3) You won’t find a big salad. So stop trying.

But it’s beautiful. It’s hard to deny that there is a purpose in all things when you’re overlooking a city filled with tiled roofs and winding, cobblestone streets and history and architecture and sangria and laughter and ease.

Today the Smith clan is headed to La Isla Magica in Seville…a water/amusement park. I’m thinking about heading to La Museo Baile Flamenco and taking a flamenco class. Wouldn’t that be a riot? And I could put it on my acting resume, as Holly reminded me before leaving for the park. Hmm… My other (favored) option is heading to the Palace here and sitting in the gardens with my book for the afternoon. To be surrounded by ponds of fish and tall palm trees and strutting peacocks and labyrinths of hedges…this isn’t a bad life.

Quietly goofing off in the Alhambra Palace | Granada

Doorway to La Sagrada Familia | Barcelona

Cathedral: Day and Night | Seville

Listening to a Spanish guitarist in Plaza de Cruz | Seville

Turns out it’s a way to check for oral cancer, something that is starting to be diagnosed more often. And why is it diagnosed more often? Not just because of the usual suspects (tobacco and alcohol), but because of mouthwash. I know! I was shocked, too! Apparently, if you use mouthwash on a regular basis, and it contains alcohol, you’re at a higher risk for oral cancer.

On top of THAT, constant trauma to your mouth can heighten your risk for oral cancer as well. And that means me. When I get stressed, I chew on the inside of my cheeks. I even bit *through* my upper lip when I was at my most stressed point.

So…basically…if you want to keep your teeth, jaw, tongue, etc…go easy on the alcohol and tobacco, get non-alcoholic mouthwash, and don’t chew your cheeks to bits.

That’s it. Just new information I felt was vital enough to pass along. : )

1 :: I am perfectly content right now as a single gal. I am not wishing, or waiting, for Mr. Right to sweep me off my feet right now. Sure, I wouldn’t mind *at all* if he were around…but he’s not. And that is really. and truly. fine. by. me.

2 :: My post was more about the fact that I don’t know HOW to date. Meaning, I have a hard time just having fun with the whole process. Instead, I feel I pretty much know from the first few interactions if a guy is going to be someone I really want to be around. I don’t consider that a bad thing…but there are times I second guess myself and wonder if I’m so serious that I’m missing out. There are other times I’m simply thankful to be that serious because it saves me a lot of time.

3 :: The final point I was trying to make about me not knowing how to date was that, even armed with all my seriousness and discernment, I’ve managed to pick some not-so-nice guys in the past.

There it is. Hopefully that makes more sense. Eh? Does it? Oh, and in case you’re curious. I have made my final selection on a life coach. ; )

“What if the Christian church, as a whole, decided to put the issue of homosexuality on hold for five years – honestly said we’re not going to bring this up again until 2014 – and instead dedicated the next five years to solving poverty…an issue that is mention 2,000 times in the Bible. And once that’s taken care of, we can turn our gaze back to the thing that is mentioned 4 times.”

So? What if?

Now you do. And she’s sweet. The sweetest, maybe. Everyone tells me so. Including her new vet.

But, because of this new addition, I’ve been doing some light reading at night to figure out how to bring this sweet pup up so she’ll remain a sweet dog. On the subject of potty training, I read the following on a seemingly reputable site.

Use smells to make housebreaking easier

Keep a stool in the area you’ve designated for bathroom breaks to communicate to your dog where he should go and what he should do there.

I cannot tell you how many minutes passed while I pondered what kind of stool I was going to put out in the yard…what it would be made of so it wouldn’t get ruined in the rain…and then just wondering why I have to sit on a stool to train the dog at all.

And then I figured out what they meant.

• victims of “the whoop” have been known to break ribs, as the coughing can get so violent and spastic…
• victims should only eat very bland meals, as a coughing spell normally ends in dry heaving. if your stomach is full of rich, heavy foods, the heaving is not so dry…
• mornings, evenings, middles of the nights, and anytime right before medicine time are the worst times.

BUT. in order to not be debbie downer. let’s talk silver lining, shall we?

• my junk room is almost entirely cleared out, making way for a bed and armoire.
• i had the energy to paint the front of my house this afternoon. (don’t worry, i kept my mask on.)
• i’ve actually developed an affinity for washing dishes. who knew?
• the new testament stories about leprosy have come alive, and i have a new heart for people who are sick. mark my words, friends! if you’re sick, i’ll *totally* come hang out with you! i have plenty of surgical masks to last through cold and flu season.
• i’ve rewatched ‘can’t buy me love’, and have subsequently revamped my african anteater ritual dance. christmas parties, watch. out.
• we’ve got a renewed love for the simple things in life. i believe i’ll be spending the rest of my fall sitting in the backyard watching the colors change on the maple tree. and i love it that way.

so, to all of those i may have infected before going into quarantine (oh heavens i hope i didn’t), take heart! you’re about to really get your house in order.